Between letting go and holding back.
still alive. Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I, I really feel terrible now.
When you allow things to grow with time, it becomes ain't easy to let go
And for such a long time I've been naively thinking I can still have a close relationship with the Lord with all these
And I've been so selfish, fulfilling all my desires but forgot the One who can truly meet all my needs.
And with this, I know I've to bear the consequences of my decision
What more, a broken friendship, which requires time to heal.
Sigh, I think back, I felt for once, as if I'm the most sinful person of the world
As if all the while I've been a disappointment to all my friends without realizing
And worse of all I hurt many people with my actions..
It's tough for me, it really is. I feel terrible when I made a mistake, what more those who affect the people around me. I feel condemned.
And all the while I've been giving myself excuses to hide and console myself from all the mistakes.
And to walk out of that condemnation, to let go, and stop compromising to my own needs, is perhaps the greatest lesson the Lord wants me to learn this season..
I do not like hurting friends, but by making myself so-called-perfect in front of them, I've unknowingly hurt them and disappoint them. I've been making myself a fool. Really.
And the truth is, being ultimately honest with each other, is perhaps what true friends is about: not to condemn one another, but to help each other to grow. Not being perfect in each other's eyes, but to see the imperfections, and love each other.
Where else can I turn? but to the love of God?
to the top! || 9:47 PM