still alive. Sunday, January 23, 2011
Well when you grew older, especially now that I'm not schooling anymore, You realized many things were not as expected. Especially on the things that in the past you assumed it's the right thing to do. Things change? Needs change from time to time too? And when all the so-called right things were done, the only thing you can do now is perhaps, admit that you're wrong, seek forgiveness, let go and stop condemning yourself? Well. It's perhaps one of God's test on me. And...I think I failed it seriously...when all I need now is the courage to let it go. Also, to bear the consequences. Things get tougher when you're older, consequences get worser too. I've been working at my dad's clinic for quite sometime. The hectic life of it, morning till night, doing your job and caring for the patients, it's really not easy. And I realized for that moment, the reasons for many of his behaviour we once complained about, and everything was so clear. Very guilty about how we treated him in the past. I know he worked very hard for us, the fact that he has been supporting us for ten twenty years us not as easy as I think. This is a great experience, for giving me a glimpse of his life.. And of course understanding him in person even more. Nothing comes easy, and I know whatever future it may be, It will not be as easy as the past. Same goes with letting go, forgiving.
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